Whatever You Do, Don't Be a Hoon!

APRIL 16 2012 EDIT:     A Video of a HOON:   
http://video.perthnow.com.au/2223272714/A-blight-on-Perth-streets


Hoon.

What's a hoon?  We first saw the word in reference to driving, usually done by the "L-platers" which, to the American readers, means learner drivers or new drivers.  But a hoon?  What's a hoon?  This is important if you're moving to Australia, because it seems that hoon is a very common descriptor used to label distinct behaviors.

Hoon:     Anyone who engages in antisocial behavior, "in particular, used to refer to one who drives a car or boat in a manner which is anti-social by the standards of contemporary society, that is, fast, noisily and/or dangerously" ( Wikipedia. "Hoon."  http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoon ).

Hoon driving is driving recklessly.  Doing donuts in the street.  Peeling out.  Gunning engines at stoplights.  Driving like, well, a hoon.  Believe it or not, Australia actually has anti-hoon legislation which they call, you guessed it, "anti-hoon" laws.

You can even get a hoon tan:  one white arm and one tanned arm, because you have one arm hanging out the car window all the time.

You can go out and hoon around, meaning messing or screwing around.

I supposed that hoon was somehow related to hoodlum, but have uncovered no evidence as of yet to support the claim.

After this we were interested in other jargon that might come in handy pertaining to deviant behavior.   My wife had heard Bogan a lot which seemed to mean redneck in context, but we really needed to find out for sure.

Bogan:    a pejorative, "or self-deprecating, for an individual who is recognised to be from a lower class background or someone whose limited education, speech, clothing, attitude and behaviour exemplifies such background... used by fans of heavy metal and hard rock music to describe themselves, and was used almost interchangeably with 'head banger.' Bogans typically wore 'acid wash' jeans, ugg boots, and band t-shirts; had mullet style haircuts; and lived in suburbs" ( Wikipedia. "Bogan." http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan ).

That's a metalhead, not a redneck.....   but still.....

I also remember from dungeons and dragons a bogan being a minor elfling or gnome-like entity that reveled in mischief, and by the definitions both interpretations seem linked to the mythological scottish/gaelic bocans.

My wife had a sure bet that bogan meant redneck, and I'd have to say, after reading examples of it on the internet that yes, Virginia, a bogan is a redneck, but not in the way Americans know rednecks.  Wearing band shirts and acid washed jeans is clearly not what comes to mind when Americans think of rednecks. However, taking into context that the Australian punk/metalhead seems to be the cultural patsy everyone likes to joke about, it is a parallel to our stereotypical "southern-born redneck" and would classify as a redneck (deviant patsy) for their area.  They just don't have the rebel flags and rusted out iron duke camaros so they have to point fingers at metalheads.  And jeez.  Living in suburbs.  Such horror.  Better than trailers, I guess, as is the stereotype in the U.S.

If you don't want to feel judgmental, however, you can equate it with hillbilly which, in essence, really isn't a bad thing.  It all depends on context. Personally, I don't feel left out.  I apply to both.  I may not have rebel flags to throw around, but if they're wanting either to point fingers at a mountain music loving white boy hillbilly - sans mullet and camaro which by definition makes me a hillbilly and not a redneck - or a metalhead, just look my way.

I'll be sure to keep my camera out when I go hoon-hunting.

The lesson I take away from this is:  Don't be a hoon, but you can be a bogan, but only if you're a hillbilly.  Rednecks need not apply.

Personal Note 1

Over the past few weeks I've dealt with passing the information on to my side of the family.  My brother, who already knew, came to help me when I told my parents.  I told my dad first in private, and then told my mom later that night.  There were lots of tears, fear, misunderstanding, sadness, and anger.  I went back to their house for a week the following week and, having bought them a tablet and setting them up on the wireless internet my sister had arranged, schooled them on skype.  We did many, many drills.  It will take a while, but they'll get the operations down.  Since that weekend I've called them on skype and they've called me quite often.  I'm pretty sure that seeing the skype in action is helping them along.